along the journey

I’ve been messing around with some web stuff lately for Radical Psalms. I set up a phpBB for them it’s here. I also set up a movable type blog for them to display their upcoming events and news stuff, and a personal blog for Thom. My goal is to have personal blogs for all the staff and resident DJ’s, at least the ones that want them. I’m excited to be working with them. I’ve got some pictures to put up eventually, and we’ll have MP3’s and other images to link up.

On a personal note, I’ve been thinking about cutting soda out of my diet completely- cold-turkey, when I’ve thought about doing this in the past I’ve always thought I could wean myself off, but that never works. I also want to start getting up an hour earlier than I do, even on weekends. I think that if I could establish a better morning routine, that I might have more energy through out the day, and feel better about myself. Not that that’s a problem.

Well I’ve sat in front of the computer a lot lately…. gonna go hang out with my lovely wife.

It’s been a busy weekend. Thank God for the day off tomorrow. I’m truely greatful. The previous two postings were me showing off Movable Type to friends. The first one I was posting from Radical Psalms - a christian nightclub I’m helping out with. It’s in Bowie about 30 minutes south of us, so I haven’t really committed to going, but really feel like I should be there to do what I can do. After demo’ing MT for guy that runs the place, I volunteered to set it up on his server. I didn’t get home until almost 3 and my wonderful wife was up working on her webpage. I was so proud of her. She never works on it, and she was. She had everything almost figured out, just needed a little help and we had it up and running. We got to bed about 4 or so.

We woke up before 9 on Saturday, and we got up and out of the house to check out some yard sales. We drove around where we knew there were going to be some, but I guess because it was so dreary people decided to cancel. We found a few and got a neat little rocking chair for Caleb. Just 2 dolla! Cleaned up the house in preparation for today, and then headed out for dinner at a friends house. Michelle made the best lasagna!! As well as a peanut butter pie. After we left their house we headed down to Bowie to make an appearance at Radical Psalms. Caleb came with us, and it was a little loud and a little freaky with the lights and fog and stuff. We spent most of the time we were there in the office, talking and laughing. Thom broke out some Bible Candy, “The Original Teach and Eat Candy Treat.” They were little bottles of flavored sugar, like pixie sticks, one is supposed to use them by pouring them sand-art style into the provided tubes, the different colors has various biblical meanings. We were just eating them. It was pretty good- Sin tasted the worst, not sure if it even had a flavor. New Life was the best - Green Apple. In that picture the power of god is in my hand!!

Today after church we had twenty something twenty somethings at our house and some over twenty somethings. It was a lot of fun except for the rain and not being able to be outside. Everything went smoothly, Amy’s a great host, she’s able to get organized and entertain. My contribution to the food stuffs was a skyline chili dip. Everyone loved it. I wished that there were some chili places around here, Hard Times Cafe just doesn’t cut it.

This evening I spent some time downloading some MP3’s and listening to some awesome music Shawn McDonald is awesome, acoustic type stuff, skat and really cool. The Swift looks sounds like an excellent band. I was able to download one of their MP3’s…. sort of like a Ben Folds Five…. piano and such.

Now I’m just sitting here watching Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, wrapping up this blog entry, getting ready to go to bed. Enjoy your Memorial Day.

Showing Pastor Bruce, how I update.

Posting from Radical Psalms, DJ Kai is spinning mad beats.

The other day I made a little button using Adam Kalsey’s Button Maker. I told Paulo, he linked it on MeFi. Today Adam IM’s me out of the blue. He was analyzing his traffic and trying to figure out where the hits came from and how it got around….. his summary, “Anatomy of a Meme”, can be found here. An extra 10,000+ hits for his server, he hasn’t seen much of an increase in data served, but it’s got to feel pretty awesome. Thanks for the mention Adam!

Got some pictures online last weekend - At the Cemetary and from when I saw Ashes Remain at the Recher Theatre last Friday night. Enjoy.

Some links from websurfing today. I made this button - , shared the link for making the button with Paulo who posted it to MeFi without giving me credit for showing him. We both decided it’d be better for my bandwidth if I didn’t get a front page mention on MeFi. I don’t care that he didn’t credit me, just wish that I had thought to post it myself, could never have gathered the links and story that Paulo did though.
Update: I ain’t mad. Was just trying to harrass Paulo. Also added the link to make your own buttons.

Found this site over at Chris’ site. It’s a random template generator. Here’s the one it made that I liked. I’ll definately tweak it, but i like the lay out.

After it all is over, death happens, and those of us still alive move on to other earthly tasks. While we hope the departed is getting their tour of the golden streets, and their new mansion. It’s just one more thing at this point. I miss my pop-pop dearly, but I take much comfort in the nurses account of his final hour. We enjoyed time with family that hadn’t gathered together in a while. Remembered what we have in common. Talked about getting more frequent meetings, not as a result of tragedy, but out of love for one another, and desire to be together. Do I think it will happen? I hope so, but probably not. Our family just isn’t good at that kind of stuff. I learned about a love that transcends circumstance, that is blind to our ability to cope. It’s a strange thing really, what things shape and influence us, build us, or break us. I never imagined death being a positive experience, even in the case of a suffering body, but I really feel that I’m a stronger person through it all. That most of us are, and that we have grown together, something that doesn’t seem to happen with us, but is good.

Yesterday we visited Amy’s grandfather at the hospital. He’s been having some problems lately, indications seem that he has some cholesterol build up in place I never expected anything to build up- like his esophogus, and his eye. This build up is causing other temporary problems, but is symptomatic of a bigger problem, that of which, is boggling the doctors. Pop’s room-mate was a gentleman by the name of Mr. Oakley. He had no family there while we visited. As I waved to him, and took Caleb to say hello, Amy’s grandmother told us that he wouldn’t respond, that he had had a stroke. The moment he laid eyes on Caleb his face lit up like a little boy, getting his first puppy. He responded. Later, dinner was dropped off, Mr. Oakley was laying in bed, looking at his food. I decided I’d help him. I fed him his dinner. It looked disgusting, and Mr. Oakley agreed. After many bites of choking down the pureed beef and vegetables, it seemed that he had had all he could take. I fed him his jello, the only thing that even looked the least bit appetizing. He ate it all. I talked to him about Caleb, and tried to ask him questions. He responded a bit. He really couldn’t talk real well, but he made it clear that he was thankful I was helping him. I was way out of my comfort zone, but I felt my wall being broken down with every spoon I fed him. Last night as I tucked Caleb into bed, we said a little prayer for Mr. Oakley. Maybe he’ll get better, maybe he won’t. But I hope that when he does pass away, that someone in his family will be able to grow, and learn, and move on.

Pop-pop passed away this evening. My mom and dad arrived this morning and got to spend most of the day with him. He waited to die until after they left. Mom talked to the nurse after we got the news. The nurse said that he had told her that he was ready to die, she asked if he wanted her to pray with him or something, his response was that he’s been talking to Jesus, and he was ready to go. And he went to sleep. Thank you God, for the comfort you provide. For the leading of your Spirit. The nudging at our heart. It’s in you I find my comfort. I ask that you’ll allow me to be comfort to those that are hurt. I’ll miss you Pop-Pop. We love you!

Caleb and Pop-Pop, Christmas 2001

I might make it look easy, but this death thing is terribly difficult for me. I struggle with it’s fairness, I wrestle with emotions. I’ve developed these huge muscles that are great for holding back the tears, and any show of emotion when it comes to this kind of stuff. Alright, I’m lying. I’m an emotional guy. I drop my guard all the time, and am affected by emotional moments all the time. It’s when these times sneak up behind my back and slap me across the face, that I have the hardest time. There’s really been no sneaking this time. It’s mostly been taking it’s time, approaching slowly but surely. It’s inevitable really. We all lose our lives eventually. For some it’s a more impressive battle, for others their bodies just give up. Raise the white flag of surrender.

We’re begining to see Pop-Pops white flag. I hate it. It hurts. I hate the kind of grandson that I’ve been. I hate the relationship that we’ve had. It’s definately better than it could have been, but I just wish that there had been more to it. Now as he lays in his hospital bed, they’ve numbered his days. He lays there, I’m not even sure he’s aware that people have been in and out. The ones that love him keep watch. The believers among us, praying that he’ll be with us in eternity. The unbelievers, wishing him well on his journey. All of us knowing that it’ll be better for him. He’s been a grumpy old man. But I love him. I’ll miss you pop.